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Saturday, 12 July 2014

Purpose

I was riding back from town on the 83 bus the other day and a lady pressed the buzzer to stop in Petone. She gathered her belongings, stood up as the bus slowed and walked to the front. She swiped her card to pay the fare, and called out to the driver, wishing him a lovely rest of his day.

I don't know if it was her tone that prompted me to remember this particular moment in my week or my scepticism. I remember thinking she wasn't being completely truthful in her comment to him, but then I doubted myself; worried I was judging her on false terms. It affected me enough to note it down in my "notes" app on my phone and it became the focus of my thoughts until my stop.

My issue wasn't with the words she used or even her tone, those things only drew my attention to the small throw-away line. It was more focused on her purpose, what she meant behind the actual words, the sub-text. Did she feel obliged to say those words or free? Were they a habit or specific because she especially enjoyed this particular bus driver? Was it forced or could she see his smile wavering but as a stranger all she felt she could do was wish him joy and grace in the form of a common sentence.

I personally think she was being a polite citizen which in fact isn't a terrible thing at all. But I can't help but wonder if she truly felt her words and the meaning behind them.


 
Do we mean the words we say and are we in control of their meaning? Everyone is going to take things differently depending on their upbringing and their character. It also depends on how someone first said it and meant it toward you, that can depict how you see the meaning. This can create a major war in the world of communication and can cause issues in the strongest of relationships. There is no neutral meaning to anything anymore and what becomes important is the purpose behind this language that can be taken in so many ways.

When you speak try to question your purpose. Acting and pretending have become second nature and facades are more common than truth.

Is it better to act nice or be true?

-ShaniJoy

1 comment:

  1. Is it better to act nice or be true? A bit of both I feel as it’s OK to put a value on our utterances but we aren't sure of their effect on the receiver. It might be the first kind thing spoken to the driver in this case. Plus, we all acknowledge the cliché and throw away greetings, thank yous and platitudes we say "automatically" but in many cases they are a mark of respect. In the above example, the driver probably receives the "thankyou" in so many ways each day that he has become desensitised to them being little more than a polite thankyou. But, ShaniJoy's thoughts are quite valuable to remember closer to home when we really do want our comments to have more value and be received as such.

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